Not the face you want to see before heading out the door.
A couple months ago, one of our Jiu-Jitsu Blue Belts asked how I balance my training schedule and family life, because their spouse had just expressed how training had perhaps become a bit…excessive. Now, to be fair, my situation is a little different than most. First of all, I started training when I was 5 years old, and my wife and I met when we were 14 years old; this version of me is all she’s ever known. Second, my entire family trains. We are in no uncertain terms, a Jiu-Jitsu family. I cannot imagine a scenario where she will ever complain about how often I train. As for my son, he saw me typing this post and read the title in utter bewilderment. “DON’T want to hear,” he asked, “I don’t get it, training is a good thing.” I mean… he’s not wrong.
For almost everyone else, those 3 little words are likely to rear their ugly head at some point in their journeys. The fact of the matter is, learning a martial art is a lifestyle. And if you have a husband (or a wife), children, people who depend on you, or all of the above, you are essentially asking them to live this lifestyle along with you.
If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse is flat out telling you that you are training too much, here’s what they’re likely really saying, “I need you.” It’s a little open-ended, I know. No one likes coming home from work and feeling like they now have to cook, clean, feed the kids, walk the dog, whatever. The big thing on that list though, at least in my household, is dinner. We eat late in my house, but we eat together. And what makes that possible for us is meal prepping and quick and simple recipes for those busy nights.
The forethought that goes into meal prepping is the same kind of forethought that goes into being successful in anything. Success should not be an accident.
If you don’t already do this, you should. Remember when I said that learning a martial art is a lifestyle? Well, this is part of that lifestyle. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. We usually have a loose weekly menu by Sunday, and ingredients that require processing - like vegetables - are washed, cut, and stored in advance. Cooking, to a certain degree, is then reduced to assembly rather than these huge productions. In some instances, I can bang out a meal in 20 minutes, which is about how long it takes for everyone’s post-training shower anyway.
Anyway, a couple days after our conversation, our blue belt happily reported that their spouse appreciated coming home to a home-cooked meal rather than yet another item on the to-do-list before all the other requisite adulting.
Here’s the deal, cooking a meal now and again might not be enough. But, it’s a great start and an easy way to say, “thank you,” for putting up with the smelly gear bag you probably left in the foyer and the late nights at the gym.
Here’s my I-don’t-want-to-cook-but-someone-has-to recipe. I’m no chef, so feel free to comment with your favorite quick and easy recipes.
I hope this helps, and I’ll see you on the mat.
Steamed Salmon, Sweet Potatoes & Asparagus
Ingredients:
1 frozen salmon filet per person
1 tablespoons butter plus 1 pat per person
1 bunch of asparagus
2 sweet potatoes roughly cut
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup milk
garlic salt to taste
1/2 lemon
Directions:
Set your Instant Pot to Pressure Cook for 4-5 minutes. If you don’t have an Instant Pot, I don’t know what to tell you…
Add sweet potatoes, asparagus, and water
Season salmon fillets with garlic salt
Place salmon fillets on the wire basket provided with your Instant Pot and rest on the vegetables, finishing each fillet with one pat of butter
Manually release steam after the audible prompt and remove the salmon and asparagus
Squeeze 1/2 lemon over asparagus
Add milk and butter to sweet potatoes, then mash
Finish mashed sweet potatoes with salt and maybe brown sugar if you’re fancy
Go train